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Some Epigrams on Computer Sciences

“Error, keyboard not found - press F1 to continue.” - BIOS system message

“Distributed file systems are a cruel hoax.” - Zalman Stern

“A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila.” - Mitch Ratcliffe

“Large increases in cost with questionable increases in performance can be tolerated only in race horses and women.” - Lord Kelvin

“Memory is like an orgasm. It’s a lot better if you don’t have to fake it.” - Seymore Cray (on virtual memory)

“Software Engineering is that part of Computer Science which is too difficult for the Computer Scientist.” - F. L. Bauer

“If you torture the data enough, it will confess” - Ronald Coase

“If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.”

“Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.” - Michael Sinz

“Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer.” - Fred Brooks

“If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.” - Norm Schryer

“Error, keyboard not found - press F1 to continue.” - BIOS system message

“The memory management on the PowerPC can be used to frighten small children.” - Linus Torvalds

“The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents.” - Nathaniel Borenstein

“I invented it, Bill made it famous” - David Bradley (wrote the code for Ctrl-Alt-Delete on the IBM PC)

“Unix is user-friendly. It’s just very selective about who its friends are.”
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